I couldn’t understand why I was being treated so horrifically in London but it started a lifetime of a cycle of abuse and narcissistic abuse. It was such a murky place and such a murky room, for women to be mistreated this way and for no one to call it out as racism or as abuse.
Narcissists seek someone to devalue and juxtapose that person against their new supply. New supply is imbued with out-of-this-world qualities, they seek to build up new supply in front of people so old supply is “out” and new supply is a virtual God send, they are superior in every way to “old supply.” A narcissist is usually seeking some sort of resource from old supply, or is stealing from “old supply”. Eventually new supply becomes old supply too as they move through the “supply” life cycle. Eventually they become the butt of sexual jokes, and are devalued, a telltale sign that the narcissist is preparing to elevate themselves and lower old supply in readiness for a narcissistic discard.
Narcissists are people who talk about someone to either “let them know what they are in for”, to get ahead of anything negative being said about them, or they inoculate the listener with either pithy sexist one liners, or hit upon a nerve, or she or he is “one of those.” They find incorrect labels for people so that people switch off and don’t listen. It’s not actually real information they are just getting in first to control the listener so the listener does their bidding. The name for this is Inoculation Theory. Inoculation Theory is used in politics, savvy people get the target that they want to lie to, control, or manipulate to switch off. They use a one-liner, or skim the surface so that people don’t delve any deeper. They get in first with a weaker argument. They control a narrative.
For example, in my home village, I was given a Gone Girl image as I had been experiencing domestic violence for 22 years. I ended up in domestic violence due to the stealing in London, these men and my new partner, (someone who stalked me for 9 months at university) were one and the same in personality type. Everyone used to say, “here comes your stalker” at university, it was a running joke. He had a nickname for being my stalker. He ended up sleeping on our sofa for 6 weeks, refusing to go back to university accommodation, he worked for 9 months to try to get me under his control.
He later told people in our village, an outright lie, that we hadn’t met at university but that our family company had headhunted him. It is totally untrue, but he defames and smears my family, me, my legal team and all of our family friends, giving pretense that they like him and that he has spoken to and met people that he has never met or really ever talked to. His “new supply” lap it up and put him on an undeserved pedestal. Narcissists like to be on a pedestal and will lie or steal to be viewed a certain way. It is all about controlling people and controlling how people are viewed.
I had moved to our village as we have private 24-hour security and cameras everywhere and each house has panic buttons. I would threaten to press a panic button or to call security when he became dangerous. I knew that the police would not be here quickly enough and when I was in danger they took 7 hours to arrive. The pliable, gullible and impressionable men and women in my village, (the very ones who weren’t wealthy and who didn’t reside here) wanted to believe that there was no DV so that my ex would give them money. From the moment we moved here I told him that everyone would know one day that he is violent.
He once asked me how much money it would take to get people to mistreat someone, 1 million he said, 2 million? I quipped back I thought that they would mistreat someone for 10 million and above. They had no knowledge either way of it being true or false. Due to this I suffered through years of DV and assaults. He was too quick to call the police on and too clever for me to be able to prove it. He had taken control of all finances and was financially abusing me and my family, wasting 3 million dollars. A few years after I obtained a Protection Order a woman said to me that “we didn’t get to go on an all expenses paid first class trip around the world because of you.” They made egregious claims about my lawyer and for a time I was abused by people who cared little about DV but who seemed to genuinely believe the unlikely story that they were going to receive the spoils of 10 million dollars for causing harm to me and siding with my ex. All they needed to do was to turn a blind eye to obvious violence and narcissistic abuse.
Stories changed daily and these people made my life a living hell, (strangulation, sexual assaults, verbal and psychological abuse) were all a laughing matter. They were the poorer people who weren’t from the area but who aspired to be, they were not wealthy, highly educated, and were not the type that we were used to hanging around. They weren’t savvy enough to spot a fake.
For me the cycle of abuse and violence began in England when two men abused me to steal my words and my work. It was forcing and coercing someone and abusing them to receive “free work” that they could sell or “comp” people with. I had no safe place to stay and was regularly attacked sexually, physically, psychologically, and verbally.
Referential Treatment, is when a narcissist refers to someone a certain way or indicates how someone should be treated. They like to indicate to people how someone should be referred to and like to control how new people will discuss or regard a person. They don’t want you to listen to this person about them. A narcissist tries to control perceptions. Narcissists typically involve stooges in a situation, (it doesn’t really matter who the stooge is as long as there is something that can be interpreted as “better”) sometimes this is new supply. New supply could be another narcissist or new supply could be an empath. Narcissists get along very well with other narcissists as they have similar “schemas”.
My ex-partner was seeing men quite openly, he was flying to Sydney to see men and he had several male partners but he used females as stooges in our village. The female stooges were tantalized by thinking that they could get my home or my money. I needed to be overweight for safety so that he didn’t continue to sexually assault or coerce me. Silly women who are easily impressed and who are not savvy enough to recognise when someone is lying loved delighting in bad stories about me, “old supply.”
In England, it all came down to ethnicity. England wasn’t what I thought, and at first no one asked my ethnicity. Even top sports stars in Australia can experience racism, and sometimes people like me are told to go back to where we came from.
When the men who were stealing my lyrics explored what could be used to mistreat me or as leverage they quite happily discovered a sexual assault (they heard all the details from a gay hooker who had found out the details), and that gay hooker also claimed to have slept with me. He saw me as a sexual rival, believing downlow rumours and with the belief that he could get any many to sleep with him. They also heard incorrectly that ethnic people and women of colour are not treated as well in Australia, (this was also said by the gay hooker) so this was something to use to belittle and to use to dominate me. The Brits were told that the Anglo-Saxons who had been transported to Australia as convicts were considered to be superior to all Europeans, Asians, Middle Eastern, Indian and Eastern Europeans. As Australia is so far from Europe only well-heeled Australians had the opportunity to travel to Europe, or had the money or sophistication to explore European cuisine and culture. As children we travelled extensively and we had “palette training” so that we didn’t end up being like other Australian’s who complained when they travelled or who criticised things that they had little understanding about.
The dumber people were and the less exposed they were to the outside world, the more convinced they are of their right to being treated as a superior. They simply didn’t know any better. There is no better type of person to use than a blunt object to use to inflict harm.
Narcissists believe that people are there for them to use and that other people should be exploited for their purposes. What happened in London is very close to what happened to me in Australia, in fact, it is much the same pattern because all people involved are narcissists and were abusive. The people who were coercing me to work for free, under threat of humiliation or “ruining me” in front of everyone (this is what happens in DV too) marked me as their target. They seemed to accept that my olive skin made me inferior in Australia, and readily accepted their claims that I was the most unpopular and most targeted girl at school. It was the opposite, I was surrounded by love and wonderful people.
Men like these employ an Abuse By Proxy tactic. They have old supply (the target that they wish to devalue and smear and defame – they are experts at getting away with defamation), and new supply. New supply is a shiny new person they imbue with super human qualities, narcissists are masters of misdirection so they want people to focus on new supply while they demonise and are funny about defamation (sexual assaults and belittling women of sexual assaults isn’t uncommon), old supply no longer has any value.
When narcissists are getting ready for a narcissistic discard it is very common for them to belittle their soon to be “ex supply sexually”, saying that they have taken their interest elsewhere. They need to appear to be the one who is seen to be “deciding”. Even when I took the brunt of sexual defamation due to sexual assaults in London, I was actually the one who kept refusing advances, privately and publicly, I was the one who rejected but he needed to be seen as “the one who was deciding or presiding” over the situation. It is a little formulaic, people who have been around the block a few times with narcissists can easily spot it. Whether they are on the downlow or not, they will make statements about the female anatomy, and their prowess, and weather a woman still makes their grade or not. They give themselves the right to “preside” over female sexuality and sexual attractiveness. This is then used to establish a pecking order that exists outside other talents, accomplishments and education, and it can be based on a woman’s willingness to comply with them and to be people pleasers or man pleasers.
I’ll never understand why all these men are so smug about being with racists, or why they hold blue eyes to be superior to every other eye colour. It must be their race, as they are all the same race. I will never understand why these “new supply” women were placed above me in their minds, or why they are still there as superiors, I don’t hate people based on race, and no one is lowered in my estimation due to race. I can’t say the same for them, believing that someone is superior or was popular just based on skin colour is aburd to me, they weren’t the pretty girls at school and were not friends with any popular people; in Australia skin colour wasn’t enough to make you popular.
I know they all knew about the racial issue, as one of the men was told that he would have also been treated in a racist manner, by the most hated girl from one of my high schools. She was reviled, set aside and held as an outcast for those very views. She has a very common look, and the other one didn’t stand out at all, she was viewed with embarrassment. I guess people who haven’t been around narcissist also don’t spot that they project, they project their failings onto their targets if they can get people who are gullible enough to believe it. In short, they accuse their target of being what they are. Everyone was happy to allow all the abuse to go on unabated; was it my skin colour or was it the fake title of “unpopular” that made it ok for me to be the target of all the racial abuse. Another inferior race translated as unpopular to these people.
She was unashamedly racist and started a racist train of thoughts in their minds. These girls demanded that their whiteness and Anglo-Saxon looks be held as what men should regard to be as superior. At school they used the N word freely, and indigenous slurs, but around the men of colour in the industry they happily slept with them. At school they would boast and say, “I would love to give her a harder time about looking indigenous but Dad has said not to say anything racist outside the home anymore as there are so many talented “black” people in the industry now.” That whiteness, and superior belief in whiteness, that “new supply” the lie that they were “popular due to race” has had a lasting effect on these impressionable young men.
They were in fact reviled and blended in, they were not regarded as pretty, or sexy, its funny how just the one lie that of being popular impressed all the narcissists and other shallow people. Their issue with me is that I had been more popular, and in their words, “it was wrong that a girl with olive skin and dark hair is more popular than a girl with lily white skin and blue eyes.”
I was being facetious and was keen to escape them when they asked me questions about the school outcasts, and I happily left them to all their racism so that I could go home and be ensconced in upper-class Australian society away from all the race wars. The shallow nature of an industry was too scummy for me to consider as a career choice, I had far superior options to that at home, with wealthier people who were held in higher esteem. But they are still smug and so are the men, they are smug about having been with the racists who claimed to be popular due to racism. Are they still the reason for this abuse and condescension, is it really all about skin colour or is it just about reports of sexual abuse? I don’t understand what the sexual hold is on the men that they would allow their abuse and smugness to continue for this long. I would never stay friends with men who had slept with racists or still held the same opinions about those racists, or who used fake information as a reason to mistreat me or to have me as a lower standard of human being. I will never understand the smug about the rejects from our school.
They were the girls who were teased and pilled, and eviscerated at school for being mean little vile and repugnant people and racially harassing people, they were embarrassing to be seen with and it made them very twisted inside, it must have made them feel good to not be teased for once, to not be outcasts, but for their status as outliers to be useful so they could be used as stooges and their racism as a reason to vilify someone who was being stolen from. Their racism was used for larceny, racketeering and to inure someone who they used tease (and were unpopular and cast out of school society for it) for bringing someone down a few notches for the crime of looking like she could possibly be indigenous. All that was required was two lower class men who needed to force and abuse someone to write for them, all they needed was the racist excuses and ammunition of olive skin being inferior to “true Australian’s” like them. Being nerds made them hateful creatures, it made them the most avoided people at school, nothing made them popular and nothing took away the shaming. Yes there were other jealous Anglo-Saxon girls, and there were other poeple who weren’t from sophisticated backgrounds and who never travelled but they didn’t make that my problem. Psychological warfare, and demanding that people commit suicide so that they are not found to be wanting as people and they are not found to be lying about racism, stalking, grudges, or being outcasts…why was that worth me dying for…have I no worth to speak of? I will speak even though they have demanded suicide so no one finds out they weren’t popular or known for racism, so they won’t be “dropped” and “get to go backstage.” If anyone tried to take me backstage they were screamed at saying, “They will know about the scam, they will know the lyrics aren’t coming from us and that we are stealing them.” They wave over it me, the now scum just due to inferior hazel eyes and olive skin, and looks that were often mistaken for being an indigenous Australian, and not in their words “a true Australian. These are some of the biggest friends in Australia to musicians, that is their only claim to value, and it is the music industries shame.
Please be smug about the racist Anglo Saxons, please be smug, you see I can’t fight back and no longer care, because it has given brain damage and Aphasia. I don’t care if I ever see you again. Please be smug about your in tact minds, your wealth, your fame, your racist friends, please be smug about what was stolen and who has whiter and “more valuable” skin and worth.
I guess its just like any other hooker, she tells she popular and rich and people like her so you live the fantasy of someone you think of as worthwhile, while you are actually paying for it or other people pay with their lives for the enjoyment of your orgies. Why not actually ask popular and admired women to the orgy? Given that I said no and so did everyone from well to do circumstances, no, pray tell, why not invite the popular and beloved women to the orgy? I think you have your answer.
One was my stalker one was my “commit suicide at high school” person, I don’t how you managed to get rid of them, ideal for psychopath to call to steal lyrics though and then to make up the egregious lie that I was a drug taker in England to hide the level of abuse and the brain damage they were deliberately attempting to inflict so that I could never fight back. You got your wish, I have Aphasia and brain damage from that room, clever boy to make up that it was drug abuse and not his abuse.