Now I know the words

Now I know the words

Now I know the words for what that was

They swam in my mind for decades

The words did not crystallise

I carried it in shame

But it was something outside of me

And it was held by my body for a time

I didn’t know the words

Like hemispheres separated

I feel half in this world and half in that

So many people carry wounds like this

I journal, I seek, I reach out to God

What are these words

How can I speak them

Some days I can only say the small words

Sad, hard, kind, fear, love

Will the energy dissipate like vapour into fresh air

I now know the words

For what they did to me now

One day

I might have the words